Bullying & exclusion
Your child has told you what is happening. It´s not the first time. It keeps happening. You're worried. And now you need to talk to the teacher in Dutch. Below are phrases worth knowing.
To practise the conversation join a small group of mums in the Mama in Nederland course.
1. start the conversation
My child told me he/she is being bullied. Can we talk about it?
Mijn kind vertelt me dat hij/ze gepest wordt. Kunnen we even praten?
2. Ask questions
Do you notice this happening at school?
Merken jullie dit ook op school?
What happens in the classroom?
Wat gebeurt er in de klas?
What happens during breaks?
Wat gebeurt er tijdens de pauzes?
Have you spoken to my child about this?
Heb je dit met mijn kind besproken?
3. Make it clear this is not a one-off
This isn't the first time.
Dit is niet de eerste keer.
It keeps happening.
Het blijft gebeuren.
This has happened several times.
Dit is al meerdere keren gebeurd.
This is becoming a serious problem for my child.
Dit wordt een steeds groter probleem voor mijn kind.
4. If you think the school is not taking it seriously.
I am worried that this isn't being taken seriously.
Ik maak me zorgen dat dit niet serieus wordt genomen.
I don't think this can just be ignored.
Ik vind niet dat we dit zomaar kunnen negeren.
This is having an effect on my child.
Mijn kind heeft hier last van.
My child is coming home upset.
Mijn kind komt overstuur thuis.
I don't think this is just a normal argument between children.
Ik denk niet dat dit zomaar een ruzie tussen kinderen is.
5. The questions you really want answered.
What is the school going to do about this?
Wat gaat de school hieraan doen?
What are you going to do about this?
Wat ga je hieraan doen?
What can we do about this?
Wat kunnen we hieraan doen?
What are we going to agree on?
Wat kunnen we hierover afspreken?
What happens next?
Wat is de volgende stap?
6. If their response is vague.
When can we talk about it again?
Wanneer kunnen we hier opnieuw over praten?
How will we know whether things are improving?
Hoe weten we of het beter gaat?
Can we make another appointment?
Kunnen we een nieuwe afspraak maken?
I'd like us to agree on what happens next.
Ik wil graag afspraken maken over wat er nu gaat gebeuren.
7. If you don´t agree with the teacher.
I see it differently.
Ik zie dat anders.
I don't agree with that.
Daar ben ik het niet mee eens.
I think we see this differently.
Ik denk dat we hier anders naar kijken.
Can you explain why you see it that way?
Kan je uitleggen waarom je dat zo ziet?
Leave knowing:
Does the school know?
What are they going to do?
When will you speak again?
Mama bear note
If not enough is done, say it.
Be protective. Be annoyed.
Ask the question again. Say you don't agree.
Ask what happens next.
Useful words
pesten - to bully
gepest worden - to be bullied
pestgedrag - bullying behaviour
buitensluiten - to exclude
Meedoen - to join in
Erbij horen - to belong
zich zorgen maken - to be worried
So now you know what to say
Until the teacher goes off script.
And you freeze.
Let's practise that.
Mama in Nederland Course
DUTCH FOR PARENTING IN NL
Group size: 4 mothers only
Content: Personalised lesson plan
Format: Online
Duration: 10 hours total. Once a week.
Price: €320
Next group starts: Check schedule
RELEASE YOUR MAMA BEAR!
External resources
Want to know more about bullying, what schools are expected to do, and how you can work together with your child’s school? These resources from the Dutch government and the Nederlands Jeugdinstituut are a good place to start.